Writer looking for direction
...difficulty concentrating… under a lot of fatigue. I have dropped out of school, haven’t worked. I feel I have lost my direction and clarity.
It’s confusing and frustrating to find we’ve lost our way, even temporarily. The longer it continues the more frightening it can become, making us wonder if there is a way out. But there is, there always is. Sometimes we need a little help, some guidance. Even sailors at sea look for the lighthouse to guide them to shore.
The sample of writing you sent is much too small to explore this in depth but let me tell you what I see.
Your writing uses every available space as you spread your words to the far edges of the paper. This can reveal an attempt to live life to the fullest but, at present, your energy is scattered as if you’re reaching in all directions.
Such concerns as difficulty concentrating and not completing tasks suggest a preoccupation, a need for a vacation, or you may have taken on more than you can efficiently handle. When it gets to be too much, you can find yourself doing nothing at all because you don’t know where to start. And the mere weight of responsibility can make you very tired; so can expending energy on tasks that you find unfulfilling. Perhaps it’s no longer the number but the nature.
Your impulsiveness and desire for responsibility can lead you to jump in and help everyone who asks or seems to need it. But are you giving as much consideration to your own needs? It’s wonderful to be able to help others but not when it begins to drain the energy out of you.
Assuming your concerns are not a result of a medical condition or medication (legal or not), there are many ways to help you feel more in control. First and foremost, slow down and take one day at a time. Start with today. I know that sounds simple, even cliché, but sometimes we need to come to a full stop before we can start out again.
You’ve retained some optimism, by the upward slant of the writing lines, and a sense of humor in the initial stroke of your name. Optimism can help you believe that you’ll get back on track, while humor will remind you that it’s all a matter of perspective as you make light of your own journey- difficult as it may be at times.
The emphasis on lower loops suggests that your imagination is more easily applied to the material and practical. You might try making a few lists. It’s amazing how the mental and physical act of identifying and writing down real and assumed responsibilities can help you get focused. But also make a list of what’s important to you, to help you bring a sense of balance back into your life. And there is a way; you just haven’t found it yet.
“Don't ask yourself what the world needs -
Ask yourself what makes you come alive,
And then go do that.
Because what the world needs
Is people who have come alive.”
~ Harold Thurman
Good luck and thanks for writing!